Big Fat Rant :: Brad Walsh

Big Fat Rant

This weekend while in Maryland visiting Christian’s family, I twittered “well well it’s white short shorts day at Target here in Annapolis,” and some girl I don’t know replied “how awful for u! Shorts should be banned for fat girls!” So I wrote back: “fat girls who have the balls to wear short shorts in a public full of obnoxious haters have my respect,” to which she replied “sorry I didn’t mean to hit a nerve. I’m not obnoxious or a hater by any means.” And I dropped it.

But today I’m still thinking about it. It’s not that she “hit a nerve” and meant nothing by her comment; this girl is simply not guilt-free. First of all, to say “I’m not obnoxious” is just stupid (and obnoxious). You can’t instruct someone to think of you in a certain way. I think what you said was obnoxious, and you saying “I’m not obnoxious” doesn’t change my mind. Second, by definition this girl is in fact a “hater,” because she’s sitting there complaining about fat people in shorts, when someone simply walking around in a pair of shorts doesn’t affect or personally offend her in any way. She just plain old doesn’t like a fat person, and she thinks that she should be able to wear shorts, but a fat person shouldn’t, because she thinks it’s gross. So, yes, smart girl, that is obnoxious, and you are a hater. It’s not that I took it wrong, it’s that you said “shorts should be banned for fat girls.” To me that’s no different than saying “polo shirts should be banned for black people.” Stupid and meaningless.

And actually, what I said in the first place about it being white shorts day in Target was that I myself was wearing a pair of fucking white shorts. So I don’t even know where the “fat girls” aspect entered her head. I also got some funny looks and a soccer mom giggle or two because I was in a gay pair of shorts in the suburbs. I suppose I got worked up about this girl’s comments because I know all too well what it’s like to be on the receiving end of comments like that, and worse ones. Plenty of times I’ve had ignorant shit said to me and about me based on what I was wearing or doing; pointless bullshit that can’t accomplish anything beyond hurting someone’s feelings. So why are you even talking? Thanks for the apology. Next time just keep your mouth shut. It smacks of desperation for you to make a nasty comment like that to me, who you don’t even know, in an effort to make friends with me.

24 Comments to Big Fat Rant

by Kathy

On May 26, 2009 at 11:49 am

High fucking five. This is (one of the many) reasons I love you.
by brian

On May 26, 2009 at 12:02 pm

i know the girl you’re talking about and i don’t think she meant anything by it.
by jennifer

On May 26, 2009 at 12:11 pm

Reminds me of people who say “I’m not racist, but…” Like saying you’re aware that what you’re about to say is racist/bigoted/homophobic makes any difference to the fact you said it.
by LC

On May 26, 2009 at 12:13 pm

Brian is stupid idiot #2
by Denise

On May 26, 2009 at 12:29 pm

Brian, I hope you’re a muscular, rich, white, man who fits into every mold because if not your friend is going to turn on you next. I am 51 years old, been a big girl all my life. Women like your friend have acted this way my whole life and they think it’s harmless. Wake up when we tell you it is not harmless! Or did you read it at all?
by Jennifer

On May 26, 2009 at 4:41 pm

Very well (and thoughtfully) said.
by Stacy

On May 26, 2009 at 7:27 pm

Yet another reason that I follow you! Thanks for standing up for us fat girls who can rock a pair of shorts!
by Alicia

On May 26, 2009 at 9:33 pm

just…thank you! that girl’s attitude is what keeps people down & from being themselves. she’ll learn soon enough what it feels like when she’s not someone’s version of ‘normal.’
by Kathy

On May 27, 2009 at 6:27 am

Things that are also unhealthy: tanning, whitening your teeth, the Atkins diet. The results are just more pleasant, so no one bitches. So, yeah. Try again.
by Josh Madden

On May 27, 2009 at 7:15 am

I want a posted picture of you in these so-called short white shorts. Exactly how short and how white are they? I’d like to be the judge of their length and hue. I will see the white and short, no matter just how blanco and el shorto (whatever the spanish word is for short) and I will be the judge of them. I will decide about all things short related. I went to short judging school and I like to engage in message board arguments, when they pertain to shorts, because I will win! i am certified by the state to make idiotic comments about the size of people and their shorts. I take it upon myself to offer my opinion wherever I see fit, free of charge!

P.S. I like the album cover.

P.P.S I know the girl who messaged you too, Brian and I double teamed her in 3rd grade (we were playing basketball, I know 3rd grade is young to be playing basketball, but we were really tall for ten year olds) anyway… she weighs 195lbs. and has multiple personality disoder, one of her personalities thinks it’s a size 2 and the other knows that it’s not. It’s really crazy because she gets dressed in shorts, leaves the house to come ride around town with Brian and I in his 97 Honda Del Sol and then she realizes she has small shorts on and the man in the mirror is her, like MJ said. Anyway, she works with Brian at Abercrombie (the South Street Seaport store) if you wanna go mess up all the shirts she’s folding. Brian is most likely one of the pooka shell, shirtless greeters, with a peacefrog tatoo and shredded cargo jeans on. Tweet me if you wanna go down there and key his Del Sol.
by I Lost Thirty Pounds in Thirty Days

On May 27, 2009 at 9:51 am

Nice Post, Thanks.
by Iona

On May 27, 2009 at 2:27 pm

You are ONE FANTASTIC HUMAN BEING — we need more people like you —
by Gary

On May 27, 2009 at 3:54 pm

Is whitening your teeth unhealthy? Wow I never knew.

While I kinda can’t believe you just compared being overweight to having cancer (?!), I know where you’re coming from.

If you don’t having anything nice to say, say nothing! Unless you’re Simon Cowell, Gordon Ramsay, Nina Garcia… in which case: love your work, keep it up!
by Thomas

On May 28, 2009 at 8:25 am

I agree how is being fat anywhere related to cancer for most people being heavy is a choice you just can’t make that comparison with a horrible disease. That’s like comparing it to Aids sorry no sell.
I really think you people should pick your battles. So this girl said something wrong ignore it and move on I know lots of people that think fat people are gross and makes them want to vomit. Those are just not the type of people you want to associate yourself with leave them alone, don’t reply and they will soon realize that they’re the problem.
by Amanda

On May 28, 2009 at 2:13 pm

Wow some of you amaze me. Its funny how he had a little rant and you people go crazy like he talked shit on a whole race of people. And a couple of the ppl posting are his friends so I’d watch what you all say.
by carmen

On May 28, 2009 at 2:14 pm

thomas he didn’t say being fat was the same as having cancer you idiot. he said they are both HEALTH ISSUES that are personal problems of the person who have them. it’s nobody’s problem but the person who has it.
by Sarah Moran

On May 28, 2009 at 9:45 pm

<3 brad. <3 people who have confidence in themselves. <3 short shorts. I’m also really <3ing josh madden’s novella response which is just putting all sorts of fun images in my head. Don’t <3 haters.

I also don’t understand twitter, but we can save that lesson for another day…
by antwan

On May 28, 2009 at 11:46 pm

heh. it was mean. period.

lol, i used to be fat as
fuck, so i recognize the
tone and the stares.

a reason i still don’t
feel comfortable enough
to wear shorts.

sad, but honest.

glad ya said something.
by Brad

On May 31, 2009 at 10:32 am

I wish there was some sort of filter I could enable so that only grammatically correct comments could get through.
by Calliope

On May 31, 2009 at 3:10 pm

Hating the overweight is the last form of socially “acceptable” bigotry, and it is every bit as reprehensible as discriminating against those who are black, white, gay, straight, short, tall, etc. It’s amazing to me that people can find so many ways to dislike and victimize each other. As I read comments on blogs, forums, etc. I am forever amazed and shocked at what people will write under the guise of “humor”. Get a clue, being an ignorant racist/bigot/philistine is not funny – and it never will be.
by richard

On May 31, 2009 at 3:53 pm

omg! its like who even cares anyone can rock anything its all about the pose
and attitude
by Theresa

On May 31, 2009 at 6:01 pm

I think your post was lovely, and thank you. I have been slim my entire life, but after my son was stillborn, I gained almost 80 lbs from pure depression. It has taken a long time and a lot of work on myself to get healthy again, both emotionally and physically. I can’t tell you how much comments like hers would have hurt me even just a few months ago, let alone how much they bothered me now if only for the assiness of it. None of us knows other peoples stories when we just see them passing by in a store. Be compassionate. Young, old, fat, thin, tall, short, gay, straight, ethnic, or white as wonder bread…be proud, be strong, and just live and let live for Christ’s sake.
by Candace

On June 1, 2009 at 9:50 pm

I love you, Brad.
by Paula

On June 5, 2009 at 3:39 pm

Rant, indeed. This is why I think you’re a peach, too. As for white shorts day in Annapolis, the only people we should mock are the madras shorts, popped collar spoiled rich kids!