Brad Walsh

Bai Ling

Tomorrow I leave for a mini vacation. My first real vacation in a long time. I work all the time, even though it looks like fun. It is fun, but it’s stuff that I am required to do, that I have to do even when I don’t want to, and it’s all business. It’s a job. Even though Christian is working while we are in Vegas, I’m going along with nothing to do but hang out with some friends and take pictures and eat and drink and get the hell out of New York for a few days. Actually, I guess that’s pretty much what I do normally… maybe I’m just excited to get the hell out of New York.

I was in such a bad mood last night for no reason. Things keep changing and I can’t handle it, and all I want to do in response to everything in my life changing, is change everything that’s staying the same. The more I am included by fake people, I feel excluded by old friends. Today I’m just foggy. Not really thinking or feeling anything, just sort of existing. Basically biding my time as a zombie until I leave tomorrow. Have to pack my bags tonight for five “up” outfits in Las Vegas, but I am “down” in New York so I have a feeling I’m going get to the hotel and unpack five black cardigans and five white t-shirts, like emo Homer Simpson.