Archive for April, 2008

holy shit

Thursday, April 10th, 2008

justice for surface to air. i need these. i need them.

Bai Ling

Wednesday, April 9th, 2008

Tomorrow I leave for a mini vacation. My first real vacation in a long time. I work all the time, even though it looks like fun. It is fun, but it’s stuff that I am required to do, that I have to do even when I don’t want to, and it’s all business. It’s a job. Even though Christian is working while we are in Vegas, I’m going along with nothing to do but hang out with some friends and take pictures and eat and drink and get the hell out of New York for a few days. Actually, I guess that’s pretty much what I do normally… maybe I’m just excited to get the hell out of New York.

I was in such a bad mood last night for no reason. Things keep changing and I can’t handle it, and all I want to do in response to everything in my life changing, is change everything that’s staying the same. The more I am included by fake people, I feel excluded by old friends. Today I’m just foggy. Not really thinking or feeling anything, just sort of existing. Basically biding my time as a zombie until I leave tomorrow. Have to pack my bags tonight for five “up” outfits in Las Vegas, but I am “down” in New York so I have a feeling I’m going get to the hotel and unpack five black cardigans and five white t-shirts, like emo Homer Simpson.

La Da Da Di Da Da Da Daa

Tuesday, April 1st, 2008

I have “Be My Lover” stuck in my head, mostly the “ah-ha yea-ay” part. Yesterday I was repeating internally the “da da dun dun” from C+C Music Factory. Maybe tomorrow I will be asking myself “What is Love?” over and over.

Never before have I been so antsy. March was an explosion of a month for me, from beginning to end. And now I want to just take that jump and go for everything. It’s happening and it’s scary.

Every now and then I’ll go to a friend’s MySpace page and follow that to one or another of their friends and notice that the entire top crop is a huge pile of really trashy retarded people and I’m glad I don’t have to spend my Fridays pretending to not be grossed out by them. I’m trashy and retarded too, I guess, but at least sometimes I wash myself.

I get lots of messages from people under 21 who want me to take a party portrait of them but they can’t get into any of the parties I do because they don’t have good fake IDs. So this Thursday I am setting up my stuff at Club NME, and it’s 18+. Come on out! Ultragrrrl and Brandon Reilly and SamFTW (and Gurj?) are DJing.