Hmm :: Brad Walsh

Hmm

Being sick and spending time wrapped in a blanket with the dog. Making list after list. Skipping out on parties. Skipping out on album releases. Skipping out on fashion week. I’d much rather cook and stay here in my underwear. Playing with new computer toys. Contemplating starting a raw foods diet. Feeling healthier and more energetic, maybe. Anticipating the Reno 911 movie. Morgan’s photos last night.

Can somebody explain to me why Giada De Laurentiis is the straight man’s dream? She looks like a very recent “after” on a makeover show (still not pretty but with way overdone hair and brothel makeup). She says shit like PARMIGIANO REGGIANO in a selective accent and I want to turn her face inside out. Most of the food she cooks on her show is a heart attack waiting to happen, yet she’s a size 0. “Portion control” me all you want, but it’s clear that you just don’t eat the shit you tell us to eat. And this isn’t really her fault, but she inspires headlines like “Admit it: nothing’s sexier than a woman in the kitchen” (Details) and “Hey Good Lookin’, What You got Cookin’?” (People). As far as I can see, the only thing she has going for her is that she’s not Rachael Ray.

9 Comments to Hmm

by NomDePlume

On February 1, 2007 at 3:34 pm

Oh my God, thank you! The selective accent, you hit it right on the head. My grandmother, who was born in Italy doesn’t even say Parmigiano Reggiano like that, she hates her too – She calls her a chooch face, I don’t know what that means, but it can’t be good, as it’s said with contempt. If she’s actually eating her food, she’s cutting it into paper thin slices like the old cartoon characters sharing a single kidney bean. Don’t you dare talk about my Paula Dean though, she’s a goddess.
by brad

On February 1, 2007 at 3:43 pm

paula dean sort of kind of freaks me out a little because she’s a dirty old woman, but i really have nothing against her. and ina garten is an explosion waiting to happen, but who on the food network isn’t?
by nicole - yeah that one

On February 1, 2007 at 4:10 pm

bobby flay is f’in AMAZING
he is the one reason i curse no longer having cable
by Kathy

On February 1, 2007 at 7:25 pm

I have the biggest crush on Bobby Flay, which is something I used to keep secret but I’m now willing to share with the world. Giada is a mystery to me, and Paula Dean reminds me of someone who might teach sex-ed, but Bobby, oh Bobby…
by brad

On February 1, 2007 at 7:36 pm

paula dean flirting with the chicken man and the carriage driver on her european tour with her husband right there was awwwwkwaaaard
by Kathy

On February 1, 2007 at 8:38 pm

She had her arms around the chicken guy! And the whole “DID HE SAY BREA-YEST? IS HE TAWKIN ‘BOUT MA BREA-YESTS?” thing! She is so dirty!
by NomDePlume

On February 1, 2007 at 10:05 pm

That’s why I f’n love her, she’s a dirty old sassy broad. I bet she *awwls* and butters her husband up before their geriatric love making. Bobbly Flay? Eh, I have a love hate relationship with him, I think it’s the semi red hair, dudes with red hair freak me out. Mario Batali scares the christ out of me, I’d live in fear of finding one of his red pube like beard hairs in my gnocchi.
by Hobblette

On February 5, 2007 at 2:09 am

Jamie Oliver is the only chef I find interesting to watch…perhaps it’s his lovely British accent? =x
His recipes are generally healthy as well.
by e

On February 6, 2007 at 2:33 am

if you can stand to sit through her entire show, count how many times Giada says “creamy”. At least 800. And her mouth/teeth are huge and scary when she smiles.