Brad Walsh

Everybody Get Random

For a long time I thought Ikea misspelled “Liganberry.” And I thought maybe a Roddenberry was a real berry. Jake likes Huckleberries. I used to like mixed berry Skittles, but now I think they’re kind of gross. I’m going to breed a new berry and call it a Marionberry. Harrycarayberry.

I’ve been asked to cover a David Bowie song live at the next BowieBall in December. I don’t really know any of his songs very well. Any suggestions? I will not do that horrible “reminds me of the babe” bullshit from Labyrinth, because it makes me extremely uncomfortable.

I need a haircut. I hurt my wrist slamming into a wall while I was roller skating upstate and it’s still hard to open doors. Someone at work keeps referring to someone else only as “our little friend,” which makes me believe that either the person in question is very small, or the mob.

I have a day calendar that was handed down to me called “1,000 Places to See Before You Die,” and I have saved three places so far this year because I want to visit them before I do. Here is the most recent one I’ve saved:

Portofino (Liguria, Italy)
Portofino wins the beauty contest in Liguria, the crescent-shaped region known as the Italian Riviera. The town’s perfect little harbor has been designated a historical landmark, and Portofino is said to be the most photographed village in the world. The facades of the fishermen’s dwellings are painted in rich colors – faded mustard, ocher, pink, and rust [note: these are the colors I want to paint everything in my life]. A fishing village no longer, Portofino is now graced by swank villas nestled in the wooded hills. This exceedingly pretty town lies at the end of an unspoiled peninsula that is a carefully guarded government preserve, crisscrossed by marked footpaths affording beautiful views of the coastline. Exhilaration of another kind is as easily found at the harborside restaurants. Follow the heady perfume of pesto-flavored trenette pasta and grilled scampi to a disarmingly simple Ligurian meal.

For Halloween I have proposed or agreed to being all of the following: Gobo Fraggle (with Anna as Red, Josh as Boober, Sabrina as Mokey, and Mark as Wembley); Jack and Meg White with Kathy (I want to be Meg); Plug & Socket with Jake; and Harajuku Brad and Blackface Gurj. What will most likely happen is I will wear a black hoodie and get drunk.

Kathy found this hilarious Craigslist missed connection: WOMAN WITH NO TEETH, MISSING EYE, BEAUTIFUL SMILE, –m4w
We glanced at each other on the X train to Torpor Square Park. You had the Louis Vuitton colostomy bag and the vintage Chanel eye patch. I was the guy in the corrugated cardboard suit and was carrying a gigantic box of squid jerky. Please write! I think that we were made for each other, etc. etc.
this is in or around Rhombus Corners

Today: from 7 to 9pm go to the Chelsea Barnes & Noble to buy and have Bronques sign your LastNightsParty book. Then go to First Taste at HiFi and then maybe Calling All Kids! at Sapphire, where I may be taking photos, depending on whether or not I am awake. Tomorrow: I promise you do not want to miss Stolen Transmission at Annex. I promise. Friday: White Dove at Studio B, hosted by Hannah Haddix & the BK Girls. Saturday: Help me move my shit to my new apartment.