Brad Walsh

Bizarrebucks

Today I went to Starbucks in the morning in the middle of writing something pointless, and my phone buzzed as I got a text message. I read it while my coffee was being poured and the guy behind the counter asked me if I was “having a good morning?” I just sort of smiled, not even rudely or dismissively, because I was tired and preoccupied. He said “well, you don’t have to be in such a bad mood.” Then he did the tooth-sucking, lip-smacking thing that all those Starbucks fags do (you know exactly what I mean). So I told him that “it’s your job to be in a good mood, not mine,” and the girl working next to him said “mm hmm” and sucked her teeth at him as she rang up the girl behind me. Then a guy in the corner with a laptop and a giant red bag (full of what? Silverware? Wallets? A bomb?) took my picture, flash and all, as I was leaving. The girl behind the counter said “what the?” and I walked through the door. That place has totally gone to the shitter since BABE left.

Has anyone seen any of the people on any of the Celebrity Fit Club seasons lose a dramatic amount of weight? I can’t remember seeing one who looked much different by the end.