Attention: New Yorkers!

Okay.

For my birthday several years ago, my friend Andrea mailed me a rubber chicken that she wrote all over. About two weeks ago I let Anna take the chicken in her bag as a costume prop (god dammit, Anna, only you…) and she left it at Thommy and Claudia’s. Josh saw that we left it there, so he brought it out with him to return it to us, but that spacetard left it at Annex. so now it’s missing in action… EXCEPT:

WHO IS THIS BITCH AND WHY DOES SHE HAVE MY ARTFULLY DEFILED RUBBER CHICKEN? WHERE IS MY CHICKEN? FOR FUCKING REAL, I WANT THAT SHIT BACK.

I am offering a reward. If you find my chicken and return it to me, or if you provide a tip that leads to its eventual seizure, you can sleep with Anna or Josh, depending on your gender preference. I’m serious as syphilis about this. I want my rubber chicken back and I am willing to offer their guilty parts for its safe return.

7 Comments to Attention: New Yorkers!

by Vanessa

On July 31, 2006 at 9:59 pm

OMG that’s the funniest post, ever.
by Andrea

On August 1, 2006 at 12:09 am

NO IT’S NOT FUNNY. Who is that bitch and why does she have the chicken? Really. Give back the damn chicken.
by brad

On August 1, 2006 at 2:52 am

if this fucking chicken starts showing up on ambrel and lastnightsparty and myopenbar like some hipster amelie lawn gnome bullshit i’m gonna make sure heads roll.
by Little Big Chris

On August 1, 2006 at 4:59 pm

I’d kill that bitch.
by rae

On August 7, 2006 at 3:59 am

did you ever get it back :[
by brad

On August 7, 2006 at 2:55 pm

no!
by rae

On August 10, 2006 at 10:03 am

aw i’m sorry qt! i hope you get it back soon.